I Did This to Myself…Smh

OOH! I did it to my dang self! lol. I texted him. He’s annoyed me for the past 3 years. Whether I was in a relationship or not, he was right there trying to weasel his way in. But not for real. You know that guy who speaks of giving you the world but when it’s time to deliver, there is always an excuse. *side eye* Ummmm hmm…

Well a year ago, I decided that I didn’t want him to be in my life anymore. I mean I was never, ever, EVER going to be with him.  Multiple children, no job, and over 30. I’m sorry but I can’t deal with baby mama drama at this ripe age and I can’t pay for all our dates. We’d at least have to go dutch. Ha ha! And thought it was nice having a guy around (kinda) I realized that this could only be a space filler situation. So I began ignoring his calls. I know that probably isn’t the most effective and honest way…but it works. What better way to say I don’t wish to contact you anymore than by making it impossible for interactions to take place?

Well today, while cleaning out my phone, I almost deleted his number (I’d kept it so I could make SURE I ignored the calls – the things we go through) but instead, I called it.  We’d had good times. And I was in a particular happy mood. But WOW how quiclklty he reminded me why our interactions had become fewer.  He is just plain annoying:

“Send me a picture! I haven’t seen you in so long. I’ll send you one too. You know I’m still as fine.”

*sigh*  Why does that have to be the conversation.  This is the same dude who told me to pray if I was supposed to be his wife lol. The same dude who tried to hollar at me all while I was with my ex. The same dude that has baby mamas.

Camile WHY did you call him.  Now I’m trying to figure out how long I have to tolerate him before I can start ignoring him again lol. *hand on forehead*

~Cam

The Wonderful World Of Cam

http://camilethegreat.blogspot.com/

Above is the link for the blog i post to more frequently. I really like wordpress way better than blogger and I wish I’d of found it first but for right now, it is just easier to keep posting to the familiar.  I am gaining a readership and I don’t want to shake things up or make it confusing at this stage in the game. Maybe, each time I post there, I will post here type of thing?

thinking…

~Cam

I Love You/Every Day/He’ll Know

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I love you

We’ve been reduced to I love you texts.

How are you?

Good!

I’m good.

I love you!

We’ve strayed away from the deep conversations…

The details of each other’s heartbeats.

We say hello.

Hello.

Hi!

And we say goodbye.

Goodbye!

I’ll talk to you later.

And oh we can’t forget…

I luv u.

No more do we talk about what we will do when we grow bigger.

We don’t talk about our futures and the latest trend.

But we ask about the fam.

Yeah mom is good.

Baby is fine.

Hello.

Goodbye.

ILY…

I can’t remember the last time I was in your presence.

I haven’t seen your face.

We haven’t had a change to shoot the breeze.

I’m not even contacted on those really important things.

The milestones, the firsts, or even the lasts…

Yeah I still work at that school.

Oh yeah?

Yep!

I love you!

EVERYDAY

I wish I could talk to you every day.

But to call you that much,

you’d think something was up.

We’re just friends.

You are on your grind and

Supposedly aren’t looking for wifey.

But when she appears,

The moment you notice the one you’ll gladly give your all for,

I know how need to acquire things and being about your business

will fade into the background.

You’ll do anything and everything to get your girl

So as I think of you, I must admit, If I’m honest,

That you just aren’t thinking of me.

And it would all be okay if I didn’t wish I could talk to you every day!

I love hearing about your plans and I love hearing about your past

I could sit on the phone with you for hours and I’d just listen to you,

For the whole conversation.

Your dissertation on life is amazing… to me.

But I’m wasting my time thinking of you because if I were her,

You would already notice me.

It saddens me and I wish I could make these feelings just go away.

And even though I know the truth…

I still wish I could talk to you everyday.

He’ll Know

He’ll know it’s you from the very beginning

When he lays eyes on you he won’t have to guess

He’ll love each and everything about you

He’ll love the things you can’t even stand

Lips, nose, mouth, eyes, and stance

Everything in between and its surrounding

He’ll love the light skinned spots or your nose and mouth

He’ll love that long 2^nd toe too

He’ll know it’s you from the very beginning

When he lays eyes on you he won’t have to guess

He’ll love your style of dress, talk, and smile

He’ll let you talk just to hear your voice

Dreams, desires, goals, and plans

All the above and its surrounding

He’ll love how you laugh really hard at the dumbest jokes

He’ll love to make dumb jokes just for that reason too

He’ll know it’s you from the very beginning

When he lays eyes on you he won’t have to guess

He’ll know that you will be the future mother of his children

He’ll love the way you are gentle yet firm with his nieces

Touch, thoughts, patience, and love

These things and its surrounding

He’ll love that you don’t even know that he’s in love

He’ll love you before you even notice too

~Cam